Is it possible to be crochet illiterate?

Am I a complete idiot? I can't crochet. I used to watch my Gramma crochet. I loved the peaceful, and seemingly, easy rhythm of the hook, yarn and fingers. It was mesmerizing. But, I can't mimic the same rhythm. Aargh, I am looking for that peaceful, methodical movement and I am instead finding frustration. Now knitting, I "get" but I want to learn how to do this well. I hate not being able to do something well, especially when I try so hard. There is a rhythm that I can't follow, like the two-step. My father tried to teach me the two-step, my sister tried and my husband has tried but I still don't "get" it. I can't get into the rhythm, I don't hear the beat the same as they do. My sister says that I have to step in-between the beat. I think I'm looking at crocheting wrong. I need to google it on Youtube. I'm sure there might be something there to help.

Eulogy for Gramma (April 2009)

When I started to help plan this service I couldn’t get past how sad and regretful I felt but then my long-time friend called. She wanted to tell me how sorry she was that Gramma is gone. She reminisced about Gramma’s high heel shoes and makeup. She remembered Gramma listening to rock music in the car. She thought my Gramma was glamourous and cool. That’s when I realized that this service should be about a celebration of Gramma’s life and what she meant to each of us. So, here are some things that I learned from my Gramma... • To love being a girl. • That just because you are over 80 is no excuse to not wear your high heels. • Jeans and sneakers are for boys. • The more stuff the better, especially jewellery! • That lipstick can double as rouge. • To recycle before it became politically correct:  To make old Christmas cards into gift tags.  To reuse candy wrappers as Christmas tree decorations.  To reuse clear milk bags as freezer bags.  To keep all of my ribbons and bows because I will eventually use them again.  To carefully remove the tape from my presents so that I can reuse the paper later, and it makes the anticipation of what is inside that much better  Those little white round plastic things that keep the top of your pizza box off of your pizza make great Barbie tables. • If your shopping bag has been in the closet for more than a month it is no longer a new purchase, even if the tags are still on. • Cleaning the house can be very therapeutic, especially the stove. • That plants and flowers are necessary for a house to be a home. • Gardening is a joy • To propagate plants from cuttings, collect seeds in the garden and grow plants indoors. • To be able to name plants and flowers even my Euphorbia. • To enjoy growing my own food and using it. • To make pie crust and rhubarb jam. • That arts and crafts are fun • How to sew, knit and crochet. • How to crochet hand towels and knit washcloths. • How to make a doll out of a block of wood and pieces of material. • To have fun keeping house before Martha Stewart made it fashionable. • Stuffed animals, dolls and flowers are necessary decorating essentials. • That it is possible to decorate an entire house with flowers, even your husband’s private sanctuary. • Always give freely. Money is just fun paper. • Stealing is not an option. • A Bushel and a Peck and a hug around the neck... • Sing loud and clear, even if you might be a little tone deaf. • If all else fails play “I Spy” to distract the children. • Vics Vaporub cures everything, but if that still doesn’t work try Buckley’s. • If you don’t wear slippers you will get pneumonia. • A cup of sweetened tea makes everything better. • Cheese Whiz and walnuts do taste good together. • You need cheese and pickles for a complete meal. • Sweets are good for your morale. • To be a gracious hostess by welcoming people into your house like they’re family. • Offer what you have even if it might be meagre. • Offer your guests food until you find out what they like or until they get tired of saying, “No thank you,” and give in. • To stay young in spirit. • To try to turn the other cheek. • That my children are a blessing and that I should be grateful for them. • Try not to fret, because it doesn’t do any good. • Try to see the good in everything. • To not be afraid to ask for what I need. • If you want something done right then do it yourself but if you want to be happy then be grateful for what you are given. And, when in doubt, just put it in the china cabinet.

Just do it.

I just watched Julie and Julia for the second time and I have decided to jump on the blog bandwagon. I little stress is good way to up my adrenaline. I figure, a la Julie, that if I force myself to finish at least one project a week then I will feel as if I have done something productive. Don't get me wrong I am very busy. I'm a mom, wife, employee but I need a creative outlet. I have the best of intentions but, ... well, it's like working out. Unless I set up a plan and force myself to follow through I will never, "just do it". I like to felt, scrapbook, paint... really, I'm just all over the map. (I would love fresh ideas too.) But, for now, I think I am going to teach myself how to crochet. It has been almost a year since my grandmother died and I think this would be a nice way to pay tribute to her. She tried to teach me to crochet many times. I have had such a hard time wrapping my head around it. I find the actual handling of the hook and yarn to be really awkward. I hope to have finished a block by next Monday. I have attempted it several times today, ripping out the yarn repeatedly. I want a beautiful, perfect block. Ican do a crappy, uneven block but I want something that would pay tribute to my grandmother. I want a block that pays tribute to the peaceful perfection of completing a project. I want something that would even impress my grandmother.